At Your Limit
Have you ever been so overwhelmed with the things you’re facing that you feel like quitting? You just want to drop everything you’re doing and run the other direction. Ignore what must be done and do whatever it is that will bring joy and encouragement? Being so overwhelmed you don’t even know where to begin?
The past two weeks have been like I’m climbing a mountain. Tripping and falling every step of the way, finally getting to a flat spot for a second to breathe and then another steep incline is in front of my face. I’m out of breath but I must keep going. I want to quit but I know I can’t. I feel like I’m going to fall and have fallen so many times already but I know that God is there by my side, ready to pick me up and hold my hand. He is faithful when I am not. He believes in me when I don’t. He sees what’s in store and I’m blinded by the worries of my day. So many times this week I’ve just wanted to stop in fear that I won’t make it through the next portion of the climb. I’m tired, exhausted, overwhelmed, sick of pushing forward. I want to go to a new place and have an easier life. Bake, travel, have babies, be close to all of my family. Spending time focusing on things that I can’t have right now will not help me in any way. It only distracts me from putting another foot forward, and taking one more step to the top of the mountain.
The summit. When will I get there? Will I always feel this tired? Probably. God is faithful and has an amazing plan in store that I can’t even fathom. He has opened every door to where I am today, revealing His perfect plan to me (in His perfect timing). I must keep my eyes on Him, not on things of this world–things that are empty and unsatisfying. I must dig in deep, staying focused and powering on. My life is different than everyone else’s and always will look that way. It is ok to be different. I am learning to not care. Yes, that may sound bad but for me it’s a good thing. My ongoing stress stems greatly from a constant battle of comparison (even when I don’t mean to) and caring about things big and small. The small cares are what get me the most. Tightness in my chest. Needles in my stomach. Please go away. In learning not to car, staying focused on the Lord, taking care of myself and what I’m facing each day is all that matters.
I will not give up. I will press on. I will reach the top.
“set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” Colossians 3:2
“…as your days, so shall your strength be” Deutoronomy 33:25
“but they who wait for the Lord shall RENEW their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint” Isaiah 40:31